To the Left...To the Left...

Now Khloe is learning how to use her abdominal muscles, spine and hips while standing!

Khloe is such an amazing little girl. She is just so perfect. maybe thats why i have such a hard time listening to people talk about her weaknesses, or her inability to do certain things--according to what the world views as  'normal'. Milestones are becoming so overrated. i dont care what any doctor or therapist or neurologist says, Khloe is perfect. no one can tell me different. Just because she may not sit up when the charts say she should,or roll over the way the rest of the world does, or balance her weight the way doctors would like her to, doesnt mean a damn thing to me. So what..she gets stiff, her tone fluctuates, shes a little delayed on her milestones, maybe she has some feeding issues, or shes extra tiny...who cares. shes perfect. this little girl has shed more light on this world in her 9 months here on this earth than some people do in an entire lifetime. she has strengthened this family beyond measure. shown us how to have faith when we thought it was impossible, she has helped us realize that when we fall to our knees, and our hearts are filled with pain and sorrow, we are just in a better position to pray. who the heck are you people to point out so many imperfections!!! shes just a little girl, who is doing things at a different pace...jeesh!

Ok im done screaming at my blog! if you couldnt tell, i read the paperwork from her PT for the neurologist. big mistake. now i want to beat everyone up!! I know, and i have to always tell myself this when i read through those heaping piles of paperwork, that they are meant to help Khloe. they are meant to point out her weaknesses so we can better help her. i know this. but it still breaks my heart. i mean just when i feel like we are moving mountains, we start to take steps back. Khloe is regressing in some areas physically. she has a dominant weakness in her left side, but recently it has gotten worse. her brain is ignoring the left side of her body pretty much. its almost like it doesnt exist. if you watch her crawl, she wont acknowledge her left arm until its underneath her and becomes uncomfortable. the discomfort serves as a reminder to her brain--basically saying "Hey...I am still here..pay attention to me" and then she will move it. she is still very,very reliant on her hypotonic movements and uses them very much to her advantage. the more she wants to do things, the more she figures out a way to use her stiffness to do them. which is a very bad thing. we cannot have her relying on her stiffness. everything in this report is freaking bad! they FAILED to mention how much better she is doing with putting weight on her legs, or how shes doing better sitting up!! what the heck!!! but worry not, I WILL mention it!! even if just to make myself and Khloe feel better.

Khloe is working on using her Left hand in this picture, reaching for objects and holding them!

I will spend the next couple of weeks trying to help Khloe's brain realize that there is a left side to her body...and it works just like the right. Not exactly what i ever imagined i would need to teach my child...but hey-this is part of this whole journey. this is what is going to help my little girl. things could be a million times worse. each time i start to feel down i try to remind myself of that. it keeps me pretty focused. I have great people that remind me continuously that things could be so much worse. I keep focused an each blessing that comes our way. I focus each day on my little girls smile, because that toothless grin tells me she is happy. I cannot wait to be able to throw a ball to Khloe, or run around the park with her, show her how to jump rope, or dance like crazy (because thats our favorite past time in this house) all over the living room, its going to be the best feeling in the world, because she has overcome so many obstacles. and if the Lord decides Khloe's little sticks will never allow her to walk, thats fine too, because she will still do EVERY single thing her heart desires. EVERY one of them. She will know no limits. We, in this house, teach our children that their lives are limitless...if you want it..go get it. nothing is impossible. Khloe is no exception to that rule. just because these doctors see her as 'different' doesnt mean a thing...we only see her as Khloe.

I wanted to share with you all a video i saw about a year ago, but recently i have watched it probably more than a hundred times, for me, it is an inspiration, a reminder, and mostly, its comforting.  a year ago when i watched this, i cried my eyes out, i was pregnant with Khloe at the time. I had no idea a year later, Khloe would share the same diagnosis of  'spastic quadriplegic cerebral palsy'  as this man, Rick Hoyt. Rick has an amazing story that i read often. Though you may see this as heartbreaking...this is heartWARMING to me. i hope you all enjoy!




 * you may need to scroll all the way down to the bottom of the page and pause my blog music to hear the video music*

For more info on the Hoyt's Journey check this site out  http://www.teamhoyt.com/about/index.html