I will carry her....

its funny the things kids pick up on. amazing how much they listen when you think they arent. interesting the questions they come up with inside their minds...and incredible how they comfort you without even knowing they did.

today after going to visit my mom, we got home, and while getting everyone to bed lexi had a question to ask us. which is normal in her bed time routine of pure procrastination... "Mom--can you and dad come in here?" she asks...so i told her to hold on..until we got everyone else settled. a few minutes later chris and i go into her room and she asks us to sit down...so we do. she says " i have something serious to ask you.."  so chris and i kind of chuckled and figured it was about a new barbie, or some new toy she saw on her t.v...so she proceeds to ask us " will khloe be in a wheelchair?" immediately my eyes filled with tears. how do i answer this? how can i explain this to a 4 year old? my mind went through so many different answers...first being..."just say no...so she doesnt worry..its a simple answer" but the reality is Khloe may be in a wheelchair. i cannot just say no to something that is a very real possibility. i cannot and will not lie. i asked her to give me and chris a few minutes to talk...just so we both could be on the same page when it comes to explaining this. i didnt want to make khloe appear any different than Lexi or Moose. i didnt want lexi to worry. i didnt want leave anything out so she would wonder. chris and i knew one day we would have to explain this to each of our kids, but we didnt think it would be this soon.

after a few minutes of talking...we decided how we would explain this to her, so SHE would understand. obviously lexi does not know what CP is, nor does she understand all the medical terms...heck-chris and i still dont!  so tonight was my first try at answering questions that my children have about this.

we told lexi that khloe has something that makes her muscles a little weaker than other peoples. but it doesnt make her any different than her or moose or anyone else. we explained that "my friends" that have been coming over were actually coming to help khloe do some exercises to make her very strong, and that khloe will need to work extra hard all her life to stay strong..as strong as supergirl. I then explained to her that wheelchairs help people who have a hard time walking, just like grandma bella walks with a cane, or some people may use a walker, a wheelchair helps people whose legs may not be strong enough for them to walk on...so yes Khloe may not walk, and she may need a wheelchair. but i told her only God knows that right now. Only God knows what khloe will do in her life..and i assured her that whatever God wants khloe to do, will be done..and as long as we let him guide us...khloe will be ok. she asked us if khloe's legs hurt, and we told her no, and assured her khloe is in no pain. she also wanted to know if khloe would still like princess things if her legs couldnt walk...we told her she would LOVE them. she had some more questions, and we made sure we answered each one, as best as we knew how...and as hard as it was. after all was said and done, we tucked her in, shut out her light, and she says, "dad-- if khloe doesnt walk..i wont ever let anyone steal her toys--because she wont be able to run after them" *laughs* and then she says "and dad- who cares if khloe doesnt ever walk...im her big sister...ill carry her forever." with that said, chris shuts the door, and we both broke down in tears.

We will all carry you forever Khloe. forever.