Limitations,Resources & Awareness...Where are you?

Today was ok. At times I felt like I was taking 1 step forward and then 2 steps back..but overall..I DIDNT CRY!!! I held my baby girl all morning. ALL MORNING! and then most of the afternoon...and I know most will say not to. I shouldnt spoil her, or treat her differently, but I am. And I will. She is different. I may not do it intentionally, or purposely, but Khloe will get a little more special treatment. Maybe its because my heart aches for her. Maybe because I feel guilt. Maybe its because shes just my baby. Im not sure, but shes become even more irresistible..like that was ever possible. That little innocent face, it breaks my heart. Her little smile, and her big ol' crossed eyes!!! Shes so perfect. Angelic. Astounding. I can go on for days. No really..I can. Today I faced one of many hurdles to come. I feel like im limited. Google is a great thing. I am a google whore. I google every single thing. So as you all know--heart patients, MS patients, diabetes patients, CF patients, Alzheimer patients, Parkinson patients--i mean the list goes on--have great resources. They have wonderful websites, they have fundraisers, awareness events, awareness ribbons even... Why can I find nothing that wonderful for CP?!?!?! I mean yes...we have UCP (united cerebral palsy) but when on their site, i found nothing to raise awareness. To do fundraisers. For walks. For anything like that. I know what your thinking--> Hey Idiot...you have bigger hurdles to hop...but my focus at this moment..while waiting on doctors,paperwork,and therapists, is to absorb. Absorb every ounce of information you can spew at me. Every success story. Every horror story. Every little fact, misconception,detail, every single little thing you can throw at me. I am in sponge mode. I need all of this information to process my journey. To help myself help Khloe. I need this. I feel very limited. Like info for CP is just....well ok your kid may or may not walk..it takes a while to figure that out... ok i get that. but then.... what? I have learned of different treatments..and have considered nothing short of selling myself to buy a hyperbaric chamber to have in my house! But awareness is key. For new parents, families, friends and patients. Awareness is what we need. Resources not just on what can happen, or what this is, but resources that can help cope. That can help us teach others. That can help others know, that yes, my baby is handicapped, but here--let me make you FULLY aware of what this is, and how you should view this. Lets spread the word...its ok to be handicapped. Its ok to have a child or friend or family member who doesnt walk. ITS OK!!! Its ok to walk with a limp, or a cane, or to have muscle  spasms--its all ok. So next time someone is in a store, or in public and they pass someone in a wheel chair-- you dont feel SORRY-- you just know..thats who they are! Just because someone is in a wheelchair doesnt mean they are 'brain dead' or 'restarted' or 'slow' because no one knows their limitations.  Awareness is key. Speaking of awareness..let me just make everyone else aware of something..LOL!!! You dont need to apologize for Khloe. Dont say you are sorry! Why be sorry for who she is? I know when faced with a traumatic situation--your first instinct is to say how sorry you are... I dont want anyone to be sorry. This is who my girl is. This is Khloe Madison Woods. This is who GOD made her. It was no accident, or mistake. This is her. and no, im not angry. why? why be mad? be mad at who my girl was created to be? Hell no, this further proves that this chick is bound for great things. and now, not only do i see it, but the world will. The world will see Khloe as she deserves to be seen. Strong.Brave.Intelligent. A fighter. A survivor. A teacher. A mentor.  They will all see Khloe Madison Woods. My girl.

I dont know if this blog will even make sense to anyone...lol..my thoughts are so disorganized today. My head   is clouded still.  and i just wanted to point out...capitalization is not important to me..so if you notice my inconsistency to capitalize... i have been forcing myself to use capitals..but in the future i am just not going to use them. my pinky is lazy and i dont feel like using the shift key.